


Naughty or Nice

by Forever_Sweet



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: As always with me., Profanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 19:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5509676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Sweet/pseuds/Forever_Sweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mabel is getting hyped for the holidays, but Bill has a bad habit of getting in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Naughty or Nice

"This is how low I have become."

"Hm? What now, Bill?" Mabel looked up from her list and snagged a can of fruit off the shelf. Without really looking at Bill she plopped the can into his lap and pushed the cart down the isle.

"I am being wheeled around like a small fleshy child!" Bill gestured dramatically to the cart and gave Mabel a pointed look. Which she ignored as she checked her list again.

"Dipper said after the last time I'm not allowed to let you out of my sight! Sorry Bill, but I gotta watch you like a hawk!" 

"Is Pine Tree still angry about that?" Bill turned the can of sugary saturated fruit in his hand and debated throwing it out of the cart. A thought that was quickly banished when Mabel took it away from him and set it down.

"I think most people would be bitter over what you did, Bill."

"It was an accident, Star!"

"Bill, you silly and highly overrated triangle, nothing with you is an accident." 

"You're mom was an accident...." Bill shrieked when the cart came to a sudden halt and his back hit the metal.

"Okay, I need to finish planning my super awesome holiday dinner and need to get presents! You are throwing off my cool funky flow, so you need to get out and go somewhere else! BUT! If there is a repeat of what happened with Dipper, I'm going to lock you in my room and make you watch boy band movies! Have I made myself clear?"

"Like broken glass, Star!" Bill chirped as he wasted no time in getting out of the cart. Then the demon was gone around the corner before Mabel could stop him.

For a few seconds she regretted her decision, but shrugged it off and continued her shopping. After all it wasn't like Bill could do a lot of harm without his powers, and besides the whole thing with Dipper wasn't likely to repeat.  
What was the worst the demon could do in ten minutes?

~OwO~

Everything. 

Somehow Bill had even transcended himself in terms of complete fuck-ups. 

Mabel had just exited the building and gotten everything loaded into the car when she remembered Bill had come with her. So, she had turned around to go back inside to find him, which turned out to be completely unnecessary. Because the entire building caught fire and people were evacuating the building rapidly. 

One of the first people to leave the building was Bill who was covered in glitter and dragged her towards the car at a brisk run. They both wasted no time in getting in the car and Mabel took off down the road at a speed that would have gotten her in trouble if the police hadn't been busy trying to tame the fire.

"Bill."

"I can't be blamed for this one!"

"Bill..."

"Completely innocent! I had nothing to do with that fire or the sheep stampeding through the building!"

"Wait, sheep?" Mabel turned to Bill, and the demon grabbed the dash as they narrowly avoided hitting an oncoming car.

"ROAD! ROAD! THESE FLESH SACKS ARE DELICATE, STAR!"

"What sheep!?"

"I WASN'T RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SHEEP!"

"What did you do to the sheep?"

"EYES ON THE ROAD BEFORE YOU KILL US BOTH!" Bill shrieked and held onto the door handle as Mabel swerved the car before they hit the car coming the opposite direction head on.

"EXPLAIN OR I SWEAR I'LL TELL DIPPER!"

"TELL HIM WHAT?!"

"I'M SURE I CAN FIND SOMETHING, SO HELP ME!"

"I got really excited about seeing the sheep, but I felt bad that they had to wear leashes! So, I freed them, but then they ran off and knocked me into the gasoline display!"

"Oh my gosh..."

"And I was covered, so I thought that I remembered reading somewhere that glitter was great for soaking up liquids when something got wet!"

"YOU ARE THINKING OF THE PHONE IN THE RICE METHOD, BILL!"

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?"

"PAY ATTENTION!"

"YOU DON'T GET TO TALK ABOUT PAYING ATTENTION WHEN YOU HAVE ALMOST CRASHED THIS CAR ELEVENTY TIMES!" 

Mabel breathed in and out as she focused on the road. In the passenger seat Bill seemed to do the same and when he felt more comfortable he let go of the door handle and sat straight. He also did his best to try and look presentable, but the glitter covering his suit ruined any chance of that.

"Anywho, I must have left behind a trail of gasoline because some dumb meat sack was smoking and accidentally dropped their cigarette into the trail! Next thing I know everything is on fire and I have nothing to do with it." 

"Bill. You literally had everything to do with it! This is worse than the time with Dipper!"

"Can we stop bringing that up!?" 

"NO! You got him banned from the supermarket!" 

"IT WAS AN ACCIDE-DOG!" The car tires squealed as Mabel slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting the dog that had wandered into the road. 

"Poor puppy! Darn it, Bill! You almost has me squish an innocent puppy!"

"I AM NOT THE ONE SPEEDING DOWN A ROAD WITHOUT LOOKING! I...I am going to be sick." Bill looked green as he frantically rolled down his window and Mabel looked away as the demon spilled his guts onto the road.

~OwO~

"Dipper! We're home!" Mabel called as she and Bill struggled to bring in the groceries from the car. Mostly Bill though as he insisted he could carry the most because he wasn't a completely weak flesh bag. 

Since there wasn't an answer Mabel assumed Dipper was either out in the woods or down in the basement. He would resurface at some time for food and then they could talk about Bill's incident. 

"Do I really have to watch boy band movies?" 

"Either that or help Grunkle Stan with his back hair." Bill's nose wrinkled up in disgust and he poked out his tongue at Mabel.

"What movie are we watching first?" Bill said as he watched Mabel put away the groceries.

"Boy Band Dream: The Dreamers Come Home!" 

"Ew." Nosy as ever Bill started to pry into the bags that were not food related. He was only stopped by Mabel smacking him with that morning's rolled up newspaper.

"Star!"

"No peaking!"

"Why not? It's not like I'm going to tell Pine Tree that he is receiving yet another pair of gross socks this year." 

"Ha, shows what you know! I got Dipdot something awesome this year and he is going to worship me as the best sister ever!" 

"Socks aren't that newsworthy, Sweetie." At some point Grunkle Stan had wandered in from another part of the shack and started to pry in the bags as well. Mabel smacked him with the newspaper too, although it was a lot more delicate than the one directed at Bill.

"No peeking! And I got him socks one year!"

"Two."

"He likes socks!"

"Mmhm, like a hole in the stomach." Stan grumbled and pulled a can of brown meat out of the cabinets. 

"Speaking of hole in the stomach, what happened to Demon Ex-Machina?" Stan gestured with a spoon in the direction that Bill had left in and the glitter littering the floor in his wake.

"Long story short we can't go to that supermarket anymore." Stan groaned around a mouthful of meat and waved his spoon around.

"I don't know what is with you kids or why you keep him around, but that brat's more trouble than he's worth." 

"I know, but he's our friend."

"He almost succeeded in destroying the world several years ago, Sweetie. He also possessed your brother and scarred him for life."

"That's dramatic, Dipdot is waaaay over that!"

"Say that to the nightmares...." Mabel knew that Stan was just concerned, but sometimes she wished he would let it go.

"He's a good person, even if he is a clumsy one."

"Yeah, yeah. Be careful." Stan dropped the spoon into the sink and wandered off.

"And the oddpocalypse was over a dozen years ago!" She shouted after him; even as she expected no reply back. 

~OwO~

As foretold Dipper did make a reappearance around dinner time; and judging by the mud in his hair and the scratches on his face he had been out in the forest. 

"What's up bro-bro?"

"A peaceful hike turned into a murder mystery and a cop-deer chase that spanned a few miles." Dipper frowned as he ran a hand through his hair and set his hat on the table. Mabel pretended not to notice the giant burned hole through the front of it.

"Sounds supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!" Mabel snuck some glitter into the soup when Dipper had his head turned briefly. When he turned back around though he looked suspicious of her held in giggles.

"How was the supermarket?" Mabel's giggles sobered up quickly and she rolled her eyes.

"That good, huh?"

"We can't ever go back, bro-bro. Dark deeds were done and there may have been some mistakes made." She said in her most serious voice and Dipper sat up straighter in his chair.

"What happened? Please tell me you didn't let Bill out of your sight." Her guilty expression was all he needed and Dipper collapsed back in his chair with a loud groan.

"Mabel!"

"I had to get his present and it's hard to do that if he's with me the whole time! It was only ten minutes!"

"And what happened at the last store was only three!"

"Yeeeeah, he set the store on fire this time."

"HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE IN TEN MINUTES?"

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" Bill called from somewhere within the house and Mabel cracked up at Dipper's indignant expression.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THE LAST INCIDENT!" Dipper yelled back and unsurprisingly there wasn’t a response to that.

"Ugh. He's worse than that pet dragon you kept in the house two months ago."

"Norbert was adorable you big bully!" The twins stuck their tongues out at each other before their serious expressions collapsed into laughter.

"Was anyone hurt?"

"Naw, unless they got run over by some sheep."

"Sheep?" 

"You'll have to have Bill tell you that part of the story. He thought glitter soaked up gasoline."

"He would. Please tell me that he hasn't been bad enough to receive coal this year, I don't think the shack could handle him with something flammable." 

"Naw. I saw the perfect thing for him and got it while he was off causing mayhem and destruction." 

"What is it?" 

"You'll have to wait until X-mas to see it!" Mabel wagged her finger at her brother and Dipper smiled fondly.

"Fine, fine. I have to go take a shower now. I smell like deer and gnomes." 

"On your way back get Great Uncle Ford from the basement!"

"Can do, Sis."

~OwO~

Two days until X-mas and already things were falling apart at the speed of light. Unsurprisingly it was all Bill's fault.

"It was an accident!" The demon squeaked as he dodged around the table with Ford on the other side.

"I told you stay out of my lab, you cretin!" 

"You left the door open and I was bored!" 

"Now you've gone and destroyed some of my most prized possessions!"

"I wouldn't call an old piece of junk like that swinging machine all that prized!" They circled the table again and Mabel watched from the doorway with an exasperated look.

"When I catch you, I'm going to tie you up outside on a full moon and hope a werewolf eats you!" 

"You'll have to catch me first, Sixer!" Mabel decided that now was as good a time as any to step in. At least before the two descended into actual violence and she had to send them both to a time out corner.

"No werewolf with a decent nose would attack Bill." Said demon looked offended until he saw Mabel's quick gesture for him to escape. He slipped out of the kitchen as soon as Ford turned his attention to Mabel.

"Oh, Mabel. I didn't see you there." His expression softened and he seemed to recall himself as he sheepishly stood up straight.

"What did that silly corn chip do now?" Ford's expression briefly grew angry again before he forced himself to take a seat at the table.

"That 'corn chip' destroyed one of the my first ever successful works. It's ruined beyond repair now; and I thought I asked you kids to keep him out of my lab?"   
Mabel went down and sat across from her great uncle with a sigh. Only Bill would go and start a fight a few days before a holiday; and with the person who liked him the least at that.

"Bill is a toddler on steroids with energy for days. Dipper and I are only mere humans who cannot keep up with such endurance!" Mabel laid her hand against her forehead in a swooning motion and it did its job as Ford cracked a smile.

"Plus Bill is worse than a bull with rocket-launcher horns in the world's biggest china shop in the glass capitol of the world."

"I've noticed." Ford said dryly and crossed his arms.

"But he's not a bad guy anymore! Pinky promise!" Mabel held out her pinky and after wiggling it for a bit Ford gave in and crossed their pinkies.

"Fine, but for the love of Princess Unattainabelle, keep him away from the basement." 

~OwO~ 

It was Christmas Eve and everyone was supposed to be laughing and having a good time. Somehow Bill had managed to screw that up too.

It was an accident, it always was, and Bill had apologized profusely. Candles on a tree were indeed a pretty traditional thing, but even Mabel knew that you weren't supposed to leave them unattended. The tree of course burned, but nothing else had been harmed. The presents were safe and the only damage to the rest of the living room was a light scorching on the ceiling.

But it had been the perfect tree and Mabel had spent hours looking for it out in the cold. Her and Wendy had lugged it back with their own hands, and they had been the ones to decorate it. The tree had been special to Mabel and now it was ruined beyond prepare.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT, BILL!"

"I didn't mean to, Star! I thought the candles would make it look more festive..."

"OH THE BURNING OF A YULE LOG IS PRETTY FESTIVE ALRIGHT!"

"I'm sorry! It was stupid and I should have listened to PT's advice!"

"I HATE YOU! YOU'VE DONE NOTHING BUT MAKE THIS YEAR MISERABLE!" She said it was tears running down her cheeks and her nose turning bright red. Bill looked stunned and more than a little taken aback, but he didn't say anything in his defense. 

Everyone was staring at them and Bill looked around at all the faces like a trapped wild animal. Then he did what was expected of wild animals and fled the house. The front door slammed against the wall on his way out and that was the last sound.

"Oh boy, Dipper give me a hand cleaning this up, would ya?"

"But Grunkle Stan-"

"Dipper, you aren't going to leave an old man to clean this up all by himself are you?" Dipper looked over at Mabel as she scrubbed away tears and sighed.

"No..."

"That a boy. Now go get my broom." He left without complaint and the older Pines twins worked on getting the burned skeleton of the tree out of the house in silence. 

Mabel found the couch and sat on it as she tried to take deep breathes. She had just wanted one normal holiday where everyone could sit together and watch dumb Christmas specials. She just wanted to spend the holiday with her family, and the thought made a pain of guilt stab through her chest.

It really had been the perfect tree and what Bill had done was beyond foolish, but she couldn't leave part of her family alone during the holidays. It just wasn't in her.

"Grunkle Stan, Great Uncle Ford, Dipper! I'm going out to get a new tree!" There were three calls back and that was enough for Mabel as she wrapped her coat around herself and left the house.

It had snowed earlier so the footprints left behind by Bill were still fresh. More guilt had her chewing on her hair as she remembered that Bill had only been wearing his pajamas and slippers. 

"Bill?"

"Go away." The sullen response had come from up a tree and Mabel looked up to see Bill half-hidden by pine needles.

"Bill, what are you doing in a tree?"

"Not burning it." The half-hearted joke made Mabel roll her eyes as she looked for hand-holds on the tree.

"Come down, Bill. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"I'm a demon, I don't have feelings, Star." Mabel rolled her eyes again and finally managed to shimmy her way up the tree. 

"Really? Is that why you're hiding up a tree in your PJ's after burning down the perfect tree?" Bill flinched when she said it and huddled further in on himself. 

"I'm still sorry, Star."

"I know, but darn it, Bill. You have to be more careful. One of these days you are really going to get yourself hurt." 

"...Are you still mad about the tree?"

"Incredibly, but I'm not going to let Jack Frost nip at your nose all night. So, help me find a quick tree and let's get out of the dumb cold." Mabel nudged Bill a few times until she got a smile and then the two climbed out of the tree together.

"Mabel." The use of her real name made her stop and give Bill her full attention.

"I am sorry about the tree, and how I've made this year harder..." He looked down at his slipper's as he said it and Mabel didn't resist the urge to boop his nose.

"I still hate your guts, but you're forgiven!" Bill pouted at her, but the edges of his mouth still tilted up in a smile.

"I want a large tree this time! The last one was puny!"

"A large tree won't fit in the house, you dummy!"

~OwO~

Mabel of course won the fight over the tree and it took even less time to set it up with everyone helping. Since all the ornaments had been burned up the Pines family sat around in the living room and made new ones while watching Christmas specials.

Stan's were plain and badly drawn, but they still ended up near the top since he was proud of them. Ford's on the other hand were well made, but he hung up most of his in the back. Dipper was lazy and just made little snowflakes and snow men to hang up. Bill's were ridiculous and scary looking monsters, but somehow still ended up in the front. And of course Mabel's dripped with glitter and made the whole tree look a little brighter. 

They all contributed to the tree topper, though for the most part it was Ford and Mabel who had the reign. Dipper was the one who got (was forced) to put the topper on the tree and they all basked in their success.

"This looks even better than the old one."

"Naw, the other tree was perfect, this one is meh." Dipper elbowed Mabel in the side and the two of them nudged each other until it devolved into a tickle fight. The two were left breathless as Ford took pictures of the tree and Stan put the presents under it.

"Okay, enough of that, gremlins! It's time for presents, one each and then we're eating the cookies." The younger Pines twins broke apart to each grab a present for themselves and for Mabel to shove a present into each of her Grunkle's arms. 

Dipper found the present from Mabel to Bill under the tree and scooted it to Bill before Mabel could protest.

Everyone tore open their presents with excitement. Mabel's ended in delight over the jumbo pack of fine glitter, and Dipper groaned at the light up socks. Stan claimed he had something stuck in his eye when he unwrapped a little wooden boat, and Ford didn't complain when Stan hugged him tight. Ford found his own pair of light up socks to be more amusing and thanked Mabel as she whooped. Bill was a little slow on unwrapping his present, but once he had gotten a good look at the gift inside he erupted into peels of laughter.

All the Pines stared at Bill in confusion, except Mabel who grinned, but Dipper was the first one to move. Once he got a hold of the long sleeved shirt inside the bag he let out a loud groan and threw it back into the bag with a look of disgust. 

It took Bill a few more minutes before he calmed down enough to finally pick up the shirt to show the Stan's. Ford made a similar sound of disgust and Stan guffawed in amusement. 

Bill wasted no time in pulling off his pajama shirt and pulling on the long-sleeved one with a grin. 

**NAUGHTY OR NICE I STILL GET MY WAY.**


End file.
